Finding The Book

It's safe to say that I have always had a harder time of it in the winter. In Seattle, it is relentless. Day after day of rain and gray skies. I log onto a weather website each weekday hoping to see that bright orange sun icon hovering over the ensuing weekend days. I haven't seen that sun in what seems like too long.

The weather has an effect on mood. I can feel it. I just might have a mild case of seasonal affective disorder. Just mild enough to put my mood on simmer. I'm willing to put up with it if it means living in Seattle. The mountains are so close to the city and there are four great seasons.

In the back of my mind is a discussion I will soon be having with a close family member and friend, about my abuse. He doesn't know the details, and it's the details that will forever change his world not unlike the way they have changed mine. We will soon talk. In a week or two, and I feel it will be the right time to tell him. There is no right time I guess. More accurately I would say that I feel 'compelled' to tell him.

I trust him, even though he loves and admires my abuser. My instinct tells me that he will be responsible with the pain that I share with him and he will be as respectful as he can be. But I don't know what to expect really.

I made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, not without difficulty. I have a beautiful wife who cares about me, it can be hard to be a scrooge. I think I have always felt my worst during this time of year. If I get sick it's usually in December. If I get depressed, it's usually in December. My body has it's own clock and it knows December well. Having said that, I think I had more fun than I have in quite a while.

We had a Christmas party (social gathering! What is that?!). I spent Christmas at the families house and we all pitched in to cook dinner. That may be the first time that's happened and I enjoyed it immensely. I think next year I will propose we take less advantage of my mother's cooking prowess again and make it a team effort. Though I think we will leave it up to mom to figure out the gravy situation. It wasn't pretty!

So what does all this have to do with a book? It's no ordinary book. In fact, it has been out of print for quite some years, despite it's popularity in certain circles. I ran over to the bookstore on the strip, hoping to find a copy of it. Alas, none to speak of. So I checked Amazon. "This book is currently out-of-print and unavailable at this time." I finally found an online seller with one copy! The book was in 'average' condition and they wanted $70 for it!

The contents of my wallet include two dimes, a penny, and a credit card a few bucks from being maxed out.

So I don't have the book. You are probably running at a threads-width of patience to know what makes this book so damn special. It was written in the 70's by two well known adventurers. It contains 50 of the greatest adventures you could think of, all in North America. I have only been on ONE of the 50, but it was the best ONE adventure that I have been on in nearly all of my life.

So i'm trusting the author on the other 49. I decided two days ago that my NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE would be to do all 50. I was so excited that I sat down at my computer and pulled up the calculator program. I am 33 years old now. I calculated that if I did 4 of these adventures a year, I would be finished by the age of 46.

It would take me 12.5 years to accomplish EVERY adventure. I have never been a consistent fellow, so this would take all the persistence and will I could muster to keep to this mission.

These are difficult adventures too. No walks in the park by any measure. I don't even have the skill level to accomplish some of them, yet. I will need to train. I will need to get into the best condition of my life to complete most of them.

I don't even know if I can call this mission of my a 'resolution'. I wasn't even thinking about New Years when it struck me. I just wanted to set a bar for myself. I thought that I want to do something that get's my heart rate up, something that invokes an internal HOLY SHIT! I AM GOING TO DO THAT?!

50 adventures. One at a time. Starting now.

It's a goal, and the path is going to be the best part about it. I want to be able to tell you about the time I "froze my ass off in sub-zero temperature in the snow" or how I "woke up to one of the greatest sunrises ever." I can't even imagine what the next 12.5 year will be like.

We want to be thrivers, that's the goal. As a survivor, it has become very easy to forget the people and things I love. I love my wife. I love our dog. I love my brothers. I love adventure and self-discovery.

It all starts when we are ready. I hope you are ready for your next adventure. If not, you soon will be. Trust me. Even if you can't find the damn book!