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Supreme Court to rule on death penalty for child rape.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Supreme Court said on Friday it would decide whether the death penalty can be imposed for the crime of raping a child, expanding its review of how capital punishment is carried out in the United States. Read more HERE

Resources updated - WSO

(Wo)Men Speak Out has updated the list of resources on our main page as well as added a resource list specific to mental health.
Please feel free to email us your suggestion or comment on this page for us to review.

Art as Therapy

The purpose of art therapy is much the same as in any other psychotherapeutic modality: to improve or maintain mental health and emotional well-being. Art therapy generally utilizes drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, and other forms of visual art expression.


As children, drawing and art in general is something that is fun and creative, carefree. As child victims of abuse, many of us were unable to express ourselves honestly out of fear of ridicule or sharing our inner world with those who may harm us. As adult survivors of trauma, we can now reclaim the gift of art to help us work through memories or as a release from the everyday world into a safe place we create for ourselves.


One doesn't have to be an artist to draw. You simply have to be open to whatever comes out and replace negative language with positive, loving and learning as you go. For me, drawing was an a positive outlet as a child. I haven't drawn in years and don't consider myself an artist, but that doesn't mean I can't still draw whenever I want to! The truth is I love to color and will be purchasing a pile of coloring books because I'm starting to love my inner child and giving her the things she asks for that are safe and fun for both of us. In listening to her, I am respecting myself.

Respecting yourself means taking care of yourself. Perhaps drawing can be part of your routine, an outlet for creativity. I would encourage everyone to give it a try. You never know what you may find and who knows,...you just might like it!

D.I.D. Blogs

Today, I have been doing a lot of research on line to follow up with survivors who inquired to resources for D.I.D.

Connecting with other survivors is so important in healing process as it helps in coming to terms with and flourishing in, what I call, "ones creative processes."





So, to all of our readers and friends who have emailed, let me say "You are not alone!" and there are a lot of very cool, creative and awesome bloggers out there, to share with and learn from.

Below is a list of blogs and sites that I think are good places to start.

Jigsaw Analogy
An Infinite Mind
A Safe Place
Multiple Reflections
John Michael's Blog
Keepers Corner
Beautiful Dreamer
It Takes A Village
Shadow Monsters and Fairy Gifts
D.I.D. Blog
Living with MP
Pilgrim's Journey
Roses On The Moon
My Dissonance
Life Spacings

For all the newbies, welcome! Here's our D.I.D. Youtube video for recap.

Buddhist Magazine Publishes on Retreat Discrimination

Freedom To Sit: Welcoming People Labeled with Psychiatric Disabilities at Buddhist Retreats
by Will Hall

Turning Wheel: A Journal of Socially Engaged Buddhism, Publication of the Buddhist Peace Fellowship Summer 2007

For complete article, click HERE

Do something: Click HERE

WSO Podcast - Self care and the holidays!

WSO Podcast - Self care and the holidays!

CLICK HERE for our first podcast. We wanted to test the waters, before the radioshow so we did! Have a listen. Share your thoughts. Let us know what you think!

Ophelia

WSO Advocacy Radio

What is WSO Advocacy Radio?

(Wo)Men Speak out has been approached by an internet radio broadcaster to start our own WSO radio. As you all know, we have both a video series on youtube (WSOtv) and a Monthly Minizine that touches upon issues of rape, sexual assault and gender violence in the community.

This particular opportunity will be listener based in that we will touch upon issues directly related to what they listeners want to hear. In other words, you have a voice in the content.

The subscription fee for listeners is 99cents per month, to tune into a 24hour loop. We will update the station pod casts weekly and feature musical artists who directly support anti-violence initiatives in their communities.

So, why pay to be able to listen to WSO Advocacy Radio?

- You, the listener have 24 hour access to our podcasts.
- You, the listener have direct input in the content.
- We will feature advice, survivor-experience, guest pod-casts. musical admissions, live broadcasts as well as events, community input and more.
- The radio broadcast is exclusive to subscribers as the numbers are limited.

So, how do I subscribe?
Through paypal!

Pay $11.88 for the entire year.

Our larger objective is to reach a point where WSO Advocacy Radio is free to all listeners and this will become possible with sponsorship in the future. For now however, we feel that the message is important that there are enough advocates to support an independent station. This is an excellent opportunity to gain a larger community involvement which will eventually allow the issue of rape, sexual assault and gender violence to get noticed.

WSO Radio will begin as soon as we have confirmed the first 50 listeners.

So, please support us.

Place your subscription today for the new year, for yourself or a loved one. Happy Holidays!

I am a Survivor montage

This was an especially difficult montage to create as it holds many images that are triggering for me. Be forewarned that survivors may be affected by the pictures used in this montage. Despite it's affect, I feel it is important to add these personal pictures and elements to allow the viewer into part of my world. I hope you can appreciate it and take something positive away from it's viewing. Please visit our website for more: www.womenspeakoutnow.com

Ask the question.

Something that we hear a lot from loved ones of survivors is that there is a large variety of resources for survivors to reference, but fewer that help loved ones to get a handle on what has happened and what they can do to help.

There are a number of ways in which family and friends can support an adult survivor of rape, sexual assault and gender violence:

* Listen in a way that supports and validates the survivors’ feelings.
* Let them know that you believe what they are telling you.
* Make yourself available for the survivor.
* Encourage survivors to seek help.
* Let survivors disclose details of the abuse at their own pace.
* Ask survivors what they need from you to feel safe and supported.
* Take care of yourself and get help if needed.
* Educate yourself on recovery issues. See suggested reading for a list of literature to assist you.

Admittedly, there are a lot of questions that arise when someone in your life is trying to work through their trauma. Sometimes, the things you say or do, though well intentioned, may not be appropriate or helpful to the survivor.

I have read a number of books as a survivor and as an advocate in the field. Some of which we recommend on our site.

For more information, please visit our resource page: http://www.womenspeakoutnow.com/resources.html

If you have additional resources, not yet listed please let us know. We will do our best to review them and if appropriate, add them to the list.

Days like this...

There are days when what we are doing seems like baby steps in a world owned by giants.

Sometimes, not hearing from people or seeing their reactions can leave you feeling like maybe you just aren't reaching people. It can be disheartening, overwhelming. It can leave you feeling hopeless. Then there are days like today.

We received an email from an Advocate all the way from Bangalore, India named Nazu.

Nazu came across our blog and took the time to write us and let us know that our site is one that will be added to the "Askios" network to refer people to. Nazu is a survivor-advocate who created the site in order to provide resources for survivors of childhood abuse, and also network and connect with activists in India and other Asian countries, who work in the field of child sexual abuse.

We also received an email from a survivor who has yet to break their silence publicly. Someone who just doesn't feel that he is ready to speak out for fear of not being believed, for being blamed for his abuse. The social and familial stigma is just too great right now, but knowing that WSO existed was enough to reach out, in an email and let us know that there is comfort in knowing that he is not alone. Thank you for that email.

When I read these emails, I felt like the world got a little smaller and that we really are making a mark, reaching each other, across all barriers.

Today is a small reminder, that you must never lose sight of your goals. That there will be days when you feel like it's too big a feat, too difficult a task. It's in these moments that you must ask yourself "If not you, who? If not now, when?"

Never. Stop. Talking.

Race to Stop the Silence, April 08

A few years ago, I found myself in Washington, DC for the 2rd Annual National Race to Stop the Silence. The whole trip was an awesome adventure and I was able to meet up with some amazing, like-minded survivor-advocates, activists and community members who truly wanted to put an end to the pandemic of abuse. It was here, that I had the privilege of meeting Pamela Pine, the woman behind the organization and in charge of planning next year's 5th Annual Race at ANACOSTIA PARK. For those of you in the D.C. area, or for those who want to fly out, I would encourage you to participate. Stop the Silence does great things, one of which is providing a place where silence is broken. For more information on this event, please visit: http://www.stopcsa.org/race/

For further information, e-mail: ppine@stopcsa.org - tell (Wo)Men Speak Out says hello!

Cafepress Sale!

Free shipping on all CafePress stuff for a limited time!

Go buy your WSO merchandise before the deal ends and SEND US YOUR PICTURE! We'll put it in the Minizine!!

A portion of your purchase goes back to WSO initiatives.

Click here for store!

Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) is a humanitarian catastrophe

The epidemic of rape and sexual violence in the war-torn country of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) is a humanitarian catastrophe.

The urgency of the crisis cannot be overstated. Take Action >>

The physical and emotional harm these women and girls face is staggering, and they rarely find the medical and psychological care they so desperately need. While the perpetrators of these horrific crimes move with impunity to their next victims, whole communities live in constant fear of the next wave of violence.

The International Violence Against Women Act (S.2279) would significantly increase U.S. commitment to ending gender-based violence in the DRC and around the world. By passing the IVAWA, we will take a significant step toward addressing this type of violence in the DRC and other crisis regions around the world.

Tell the Senate to pass this legislation immediately! >>

Thank you from my heart for responding to this humanitarian catastrophe.

Mike Lew

I had the privilege of meeting Mike Lew several years ago at a conference in O.H.I.O. He is an amazing author and advocate and one of our favorite authorities on the topic of Male Sexual Violence .





Mike wrote our Sept 07 BOOK OF THE MONTH pick: VICTIMS NO LONGER The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse.

Mike appeared on Breaking the Conspiracy of Silence back in February and we wanted to share this archive with you on the topic of male abuse.

This is a three-part interview:

Secton 1: Mike shared why he prefers to use the term "sexual child abuse" and how he happened to get into working with victims of sexual abuse. We talked about why men don't disclose as readily as women. Click: http://salesbr.vo.llnwd.net/o2/D2L/dtl070228a.mp3

Section 2: They discussed the impact of sexual abuse on men, including the issue of male stereotypes and images of masculinity, shame and the assumption that abused boys will become perpetrators. Click: http://salesbr.vo.llnwd.net/o2/D2L/dtl070228b.mp3

Section 3: Mike discussed the recovery process for men, including the importance of finding safety, giving up isolation, feeling the pain, making allies and having fun. He stressed that counselors who work with this issue have respect for the client, since that is a major wound for abused people.Click: http://salesbr.vo.llnwd.net/o2/D2L/dtl070228c.mp3


Funding cuts have disallowed this amazing radioshow: Breaking the Conspiracy of Silence, to no longer exists. Archives are still available, but our hope is that sponsors will be found in order to get this resource up and running again. If you or someone you know can help, please email Kathleen and let her know that you heard about it from WSO. We love Kathleen!!

Breaking the Conspiracy of Silence is now accepting sponsors and advertisers for the Internet radio show, Breaking the Conspiracy of Silence. For more information and rates contact: Kathleen@ethicalife.com

Downsize Your Impact

I'm not sure about all of you, but our passions don't end with abuse advocacy. We believe that everyone and everything on this planet is interconnected and as such we are concerned with all faces of advocacy around the globe.

In an attempt to shed some positive energy and connect with like-minded people, we have created a blog called: Downsize Your Impact. Click HERE to view it and learn more.

Consciousness gives us the ability to see that the suffering of any impacts us all. It's the realization that we are not alone, but interconnected. Downsize Your Impact is dedicated to lessening suffering on earth, through advocacy in all areas of sustainability, to include agriculture, industry, forestry, fisheries, and human communities.

Our objective is to create a positive space where we share healthy ways of connecting with ourselves and others. It is a forum where we can come together and help one another find ways of feeling better about ourselves and moving forward in our healing.

For me personally, being able to help the planet as a whole, in all her facets brings me a greater piece of mind.

We hope that "Downsize Your Impact" is yet another resource on the growing list of resources that will allow you to change the world, one step at a time.

Emotional Heirlooms

Howdy, ya'll. Holiday time is upon us, and I want to remind everyone to look for positive triggers, perhaps even consciously create new traditions that are totally yours and yours alone.

My husband and I are doing the tree farm thing with our kids this year. He was raised in a religion that did not observe any holidays, no birthdays, no Christmas, etc. (LAME)

My mother left me when I was 26 moths old. She wanted to pursue her own interests which at the time were a rock band. I was raised by a father who never held a job down, mooched off his parents, who enabled him in every way. He began molesting me as a baby, about one and a half. He eventually kidnapped and raped me in a motel room in New Orleans.

My mother was supposed to come to meet us there, she never came. His family chose denial and I chose emancipation, so I waved bye bye to that freak show for good in 2004. I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. We likes to get down in Nola. Naturally, I have always loved holidays. Just inherently love celebratory energy. Any opportunity to shake what I got, I shall! Like right now, James Brown is playing, he's singing about his soulful Christmas tree and grooving at Christmas time, and I can barely sit here to type because my ass just wants to shake itself....but I digress.

Troy, my hubs, and the kids and moi were driving the other day, discussing ornaments, the passing of legacies to our children, what if any legacy we have yet to obliterate from our respective childhoods. Most were in need of total annihilation! As we were talking, I said,
"you know, what about emotional heirlooms?" He said, "Oh my god, write about it!"
That's what it's like...we pass down the ornaments, silver, the plates, even the the dysfunction because it seems easier than actually changing things, we pass down habits, idiosyncrasies.

But, I think of what we are leaving our children as more than a legacy. Legacies are a little intangible. What emotional heirlooms will we pass to them? Literally, for each moment in life, what are we passing? What crystallized moments, whether joyous or painful, will we give them to hold? Will we remember that those very heirlooms are going directly to our grandchildren as well? My parents and grandparents on both sides never thought past themselves. Ever.
This has to be done very deliberately. This year, our positive triggers are the tree farm, side-of-the-road apple cider, and lots of groovy Christmas music. Now, the tree farm thing is essential, as I have much trauma surrounding the holidays.

I am creating future triggers, or memories, that will eventually pass into being emotional heirlooms for us and our babies, and their babies too..Screw Santa's list, I have made a list from my childhood, what was good, what was not. When I was little, Christmas was pretty good considering the context, at my dad's folks. I always missed my mother terribly and felt lonesome for that maternal love. I always feared my father's mercurial moods at Christmas. I feared his father for the same reason. Even at my grandparents, it was often like walking on glass. It was up to me to push for the tree, the lights, the merriment. If I had not been so determined to celebrate, I am quite sure no one would have done it. Many of the traditions once held dear in my family unraveled with the years of escalating abuse. It was not very safe to feel merry, for I always knew any merriment was a precursor to violence. Still, I stayed up all night decorating that tree, giving my soul room to be expressed.Yet in the midst of it all I stayed up all night decorating the tree. I loved doing it, me awake with all the animals.

I look at my babes today, and they have a brand new world, a mother who would rather die a slow painful death than abandon them, a father who is healthy, kind, sensitive, a love like no love I ever knew on Christmas and every other day. I am giving myself all things new as well. New heirlooms. New feelings, letting the joy in, relishing it, allowing my heart to be porous so that I may soak it all in. The joy that my children feel becomes my own. . When I see my children happy, free, and safe, I celebrate that with a deep smile, taking the moment home into my heart, and thanking the universe for this life. As we do this in our new family, we heal the children we once were as well, so everyone benefits. Instead of being angry or bitter because we were cheated, we choose to celebrate, and the taste is ever sweeter because of our respective histories.

Here's to new and healthy emotional heirlooms. We may not be able to hang those from a tree, or place them upon a mantle to look at, but they will live forever in the hearts of our children.

Welcome Sarah!

WSO welcomes Sarah Elise to our growing list of contributors for the (Wo)Men Speak Out Blog.

Sarah and I met on the Angela Shelton survivor forum on the days before Angela even knew who I was! Over 5 years later, we are still working our butts off sharing our stories, through out own organizations now, with all who will listen. Some of you may know Sarah as our featured Artist of the Month in the Oct 07 Minizine.

Sarah is truly a bright light. It is with great admiration that we welcome Sarah to our circle of survivor-advocates and look forward to her future posts.

Namaste Sarah and thank you for being here.

December 07 Minizine

The December 07 Minizine is now online and ready to download.
We hope you love it and welcome your comments: menspeakout@gmail.com

Enjoy!

Chris & Ophelia
and Aleks (our magical design fairy)

Issue 4 - Dec 07

Our Strength as Boys & Men - Christopher de Serres
What's In A Name - Ophelia de Serres
Advocate of the Month - Forence Holway
Stifle It - Diann Diaz
Keeping the Promise, Part 2 - Karen A. Duncan
Dental Tips for Survivors - Dr. Kate F. Hays
We Can Hear You - Survivor Emails
Question & Answer - Therapy for the male survivor
I, Anonymous - Dissociative Identity Disorder
Featured Artist - Hugo
Featured Book - Separated From The Light
WSOtv - Video showcase
Classifieds & Events

D.I.D. Awareness Ribbon - Your vote counts

There's an awesome new ribbon that is being created in an effort to bring awareness to Dissociative Identity Disorder. There is currently no ribbon for D.I.D. and as per the survivor manual, this info is being distributed to gain votes and get the best ribbon for the cause.

Take a look and make your vote count.


For those who haven't seen it, check out the
D.I.D. video blog